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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914650">All the stars in your eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifasugar/pseuds/TifaSugarEng'>TifaSugarEng (tifasugar)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Bodyguard Romance, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jean is a bratty bottom, Jean is a fuck boy, Light Angst, M/M, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein-centric, Pining, Rock Stars, Sexual Tension, They might be ooc, and Marco a power bottom, not really tho, seven years gap, they are both adults</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:21:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifasugar/pseuds/TifaSugarEng</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean's POV</p><p>"Marco, you probably know him just like the rest of the country but this is Jean. And Jean, this will be your shadow 24/7, so you better get used to it”</p><p>Fanboy eyes, just for a tiny moment he saw fanboy startled eyes staring at him, but the guy composed himself, nodding with the most professional look on his face. Black hair combed back from a beautiful face covered in freckles, the cutest, round turned-up nose, a delicate bow of full lips, and, damn, intense chocolate eyes, huge and mesmerizing.</p><p>And Jean was staring, almost gaping."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You, my darling, you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There are some links when songs appear, open in new tabs :)<br/>Chapters look longer than they really are because of WhatsApp and Twitter conversations!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><hr/><p>Fellow artists didn’t get how precious those short moments with fans could be. Because yeah, there were screams, tears, hysterical laughs, and demanding hands pulling from him but, hey, if it weren’t for those people, they’d be nothing</p><p>So, the least he could do was to deliver what was expected from him, and he’s been doing so for eight years, give or take. Well, today was just going like the rest: they got off from their tour bus, people cheered, they took some pictures, signed some stuff, hugged a few fans, and the time everyone expected came.</p><p>Eren rolled his eyes, Sasha shook her head and Connie got inside the building, girls going absolutely nuts when Jean randomly chose one to kiss on the lips. A brief thing, pure bait for more fans to come and see them. Dreamy eyes and blushed cheeks said goodbye to him, winking at the fan for good measure, throwing kisses to the masses.</p><p>“God, you enjoy yourself too much…” Eren mumbled in the elevator, “you’re gonna get in trouble one day”</p><p>“Aren’t they like, underage?” Connie asked, visibly uncomfortable.</p><p>“Whatever, a memory for them, popularity for me”</p><p>“Oh yeah, any publicity is good publicity am I right?” Sasha munched, mouth stuffed with cookies or who knows what, edible gifts in any case, “you’re gonna catch something one day”</p><p>“And you’ll get poisoned, Sash”</p><p>Even when they spent most of the time bickering like that, he knew they would do anything for each other. More than a band, they were family to him; hours of recording, traveling, and rehearsals forced them to either love or hate each other.</p><p>They had another concert that night, leaving them with little time for themselves to get into their rooms, take a shower, and eat something, heading to the venue early to test microphones and sound.</p><p>But they had an early meeting right after lunch that day, no time for naps or relaxing doing nothing. Their manager, a short bad-tempered man named Levi —no surname, just like Cher— gathered them up in a dressing room along with their two stern bodyguards. Jean spotted an unknown guy standing with his back at them, talking to Erwin Smith, their main sponsor. He was almost as tall as the blond guy, which was impressive.</p><p>“Ok, listen to me kids”</p><p>“We’re almost 30, for fucks sake...” Eren threw himself on a couch, rolling a cigar between his fingers.</p><p>“I’ll stop calling you kids when you stop behaving like one, Jaeger, how many times do I have to tell you, quit-fucking-smoking” His words were final and, at the beginning of it all, they’d be scared as fuck; not anymore.</p><p>Levi could have that threatening aura, but deep down they knew he was a softie loveable guy. Especially when he cuddled with their sponsor and husband, now smiling softly at his despair.</p><p>“And you, stop eating what people give you. You’ll get food poisoning one of these days” Sasha shrugged wearing a half-smirk on her rounded face.</p><p>“Can’t promise anything”</p><p>“And Jean, for fucks sake” The short guy sighed, raising his arms, “another teen? At least kiss grown-ups, you’re not twenty anymore”</p><p>“Technically, I am, twenty-seven” </p><p>“Can you all just, behave a bit more like Connie?” The guy smiled, raising his chin as if he accomplished something spectacular, making the other three snort. “Anyway, Jean, since we had to say goodbye to your former bodyguard due to indecency, we assigned you a new one”</p><p>Indecency could be read as <em>stealing private pictures to share with popular gossip sites in exchange for extra money</em>, <em> the asshole. </em>Being the most popular from the band had its perks but it could get dangerous when facing the wrong kind of people.</p><p>“Who’s the lucky one?” Jean raised an eyebrow, truly interested since the conversation started. Levi raised a hand, tapping that tall stranger on the arm so he would turn.</p><p>And when he did, Jean’s crossed arms fell slowly by his sides.</p><p>
  <em> Holy fucking hell, Jeeeeeeeesuschrist, this man is gorgeous, what the actual fuck? </em>
</p><p>“Marco, you probably know him just like the rest of the country but this is Jean. And Jean, this will be your shadow 24/7, so you better get used to it”</p><p>Fanboy eyes, just for a tiny moment he saw fanboy startled eyes staring at him, but the guy composed himself, nodding with the most professional look on his face. Black hair combed back from a beautiful face covered in freckles, the cutest, round turned-up nose, a delicate bow of full lips, and, <em> damn, </em>intense chocolate eyes, huge and mesmerizing.</p><p>And Jean was staring, almost gaping.</p><p>“Holy shit, dude”, Eren whispered, hitting his arm.</p><p>“Hi, nice to meet you” He forced himself to smirk, just like he always did when meeting someone new, expecting a blush or something but getting just a nod in return.</p><p>“I hope we can get along and I hope my services are up to expectations” <em> Oh MAN, </em>his voice was as smooth as silk, rich and deep. </p><p>“I hope so”</p><p>Levi said something probably unimportant, stealing Marco’s attention, giving him the opportunity to check that man out and <em> fuck his life, </em> he was gorgeous <em>and</em> hot too. Dressed all in black, wide shoulders, wide chest, wide hands, wide thighs, <em> wide, wide, wide, wi— </em></p><p>"HEY, JEANBO" Sasha snapped her fingers by his ear, startling him, “We gotta get on the move, man”</p><p>He nodded, ignoring her and Connie’s snickers, heading towards the stage. Marco followed right behind, chatting with the other two bodyguards. Jean placed himself in front of the microphone out of habit, head full of freckles, gel glistening in dark hair, kissable lips, and muscles.</p><p>“Hot, isn’t he?” Eren said as quietly as he could, nudging him on the ribs.</p><p>“He ticks all my fucking boxes” Jean scream-whispered back at him, heart racing from the brief encounter, “I don’t know how am I gonna make it through the day without sucking his cock dry, to be honest”</p><p>Eren snorted, tilting his head backward to guffaw at him, going back to his place by the guitar, still laughing, “Man, you’re fucked”</p><p>
  <em> Yeah. I am. </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>It wasn’t nervousness, not really. That agitation turning his stomach upside down appeared from the anticipation of knowing what was coming, the crowd deafening screams and whistles. He would never get used to it, no matter how many times they’ve done this already. </p><p>Just before going out the stage, they high fived, a tradition at this point. Jean checked his dark makeup and long hair in a tiny mirror provided by their makeup artists, and now, voice warmed up and instruments on point, it should go perfect; and it would be. </p><p>Lights went off, people went crazy, and they went out, smiling wide, placing themselves at their marks. Those seconds right before the first notes of Connie’s bass were the best, their names screamed along with a choir of <em> 404, </em> assuring him he was right where he belonged. </p><p>The bass played, hysterical screams filled his ears, and when he thought they couldn’t be louder, he sang the first words of their main track: <em> Wings of Freedom. </em> And <em> oh boy, </em>all the sleepless nights, the hard work, the long tours, paid off in that sole moment.</p><p>It was pure adrenaline and happiness straight to his core, <em> fuck</em>, music was his life and he was fucking happy.</p><p>Then Eren joined, then Sasha, and when lights poured on them, warm and blinding, he gave the audience his signature smirk. Jean wasn’t the type of singer to stand still in place, not at all. As soon as he could, he would grab the mic, walking up and down the stage, singing for the audience in front of him, at the sides and back.</p><p>And watching them singing back, smiling, some crying, all the happiness they brought with their music meant everything. Songs went by one after the other just like that, enjoying the moment. And yeah, of course sometimes one of them messed up with some parts, lyrics —or high notes in his case— but it didn’t care, people still enjoyed and sang along.</p><p>Just after the third track, they usually stop at that point to drink some water, clean some sweat —Jean <em>always </em>lifted his shirt to do so, showing some skin and well aware of the turmoil he always caused to part of the audience—, and proceeded to talk to the city they were in, introducing the band and himself.</p><p>“We are so happy to be with you tonight and they don’t need an introduction but anyway, I know you all love this! So, first of all, at the drums, the woman who’s able to eat her own weight in snacks, please keep bringing her food, it makes her super happy, Sasha Blouse!”</p><p>All lights focused on her energetic drum solo, finishing with her raising the drumsticks above her head in a triumphal “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” that surely made someone’s ear bleed back at the sound controls.</p><p>“Who fancies a good boy?” Lots of people raised their hands, “Who stans a crazy bassist?” They jumped higher, making the boy at the back laugh, “Who loves our sweet, funny, boy, Connieeeeeeeeeeee Springer!!”</p><p>Even when he was one of the dumbest people he knew, Connie had a very generous fan club. Most of them girls, claiming the man as their angel. And he absolutely adored it.</p><p>“Now, we talked about good boys, but… heh… bad boys, am I right?” Girls went absolutely crazy at those words, at his smirk, “Let me share a secret with you, that guitarist over there? That skilled motherfucker? He’s serious competition when we try to hook up, but don’t tell him I said that” People laughed, someone screamed <em> Eren I want to bare your child</em>, making Jean lose it for a second, “At my left, our guitarist, Eren Jaeger!!</p><p>Unlike he usually did, soft chords sounded over the cheer of the crowd, and after a fast lick of his lips, he came closer to his microphone, singing, "<em> <a href="https://youtu.be/bhuI3FdkdB8">And I will always loooove you</a>"  </em> The shit-eating grin grew in time with Jean's blush, laughing in a poor attempt to hide his embarrassment and trying not to look to the side of the stage where he knew Marco, his <em>bodyguard, </em> watched them.</p><p><em> BADUM TISH, </em>Sasha added at his back, and Connie laughed, loudly.</p><p>"Yeah, ok, shut up you fuckers" Jean turned to the audience, shaking his head, ignoring the heat on his cheeks.</p><p>“And the last one, but not least, our sexy fuck boy” </p><p>Eren said from behind, lowering his voice in a lustful tone, Sasha playing the drums as if a striptease was about to happen, so Jean played along. He placed the microphone on the foot support, licking his lips, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“He broke so many hearts around the country with that attitude, look at him go” Jean raised his shirt up to his nipples, biting his lip, swaying his torso, and <em> oh ho ho, the screams, </em>“Yeah, boy, with the eyes and the voice of a demon, Jean Kirstein, everybody!”</p><p>“And we are <em> 4-0-4, Sanity Not Found !!” </em></p><p>And in a blink of an eye, their next song started.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>“I need to sleep three days straight,” Sasha complained, laying on the backstage couch.</p><p>“Drink, compose yourselves, you still have to attend the meet and greet”</p><p>“I love them, I truly do, but I need to lay down” Connie wiped the sweat from his forehead, sitting at the feet of the couch</p><p>"Give them a moment to recover, Levi”, Erwin's words seemed to placate the manager, sighing and mumbling under his breath.</p><p>“That went fucking good” Jean threw his second bottle of water into the bin, daydreaming about a hot shower, a hot tea, and probably a hot orgasm on his own, sadly.</p><p>He didn’t want to think about his cold, lonely hotel room, not yet anyway.</p><p>“God, I needed that cigar” Eren came back from the terrace, throwing a chewing gum inside his mouth, letting his long dark hair loose.</p><p>“Ok, come on, get going, they are waiting in the other room” Levi clapped his hands, hoisting them up.</p><p>“How many of them are this time?” Jean asked, walking the last in the row.</p><p>“I don’t know, a few” Levi stopped on his tracks, staring directly at him, “please, I beg you, behave”.</p><p>“I always do, I don’t know what you’re talking about”</p><p>Hysterical giggles and hushed screams greeted them. People tended to be an emotional mess in front of them, so their work was to make them see they were regular people too. So they hugged them, touched them, thanked them, and gave them some conversation. </p><p>They usually were extremely grateful, and of course, gifts were given: plushies, letters, drawings, all kinds of arts and crafts, food, sometimes underwear or phone numbers, which they had to politely decline —even if Jean was more than willing to accept— for the sake of the band reputation and shit.</p><p>That night, one of the guys was touchy in excess. Blue hair, tall as fuck and built like a wardrobe, huge black eyes staring at him. It started with a long handshake. Then some shoulder squeezes Jean chose to ignore. Then that hand was on his lower back. And the guy was so bulky he didn’t budge when he tried to push him away discreetly. </p><p>Jean’s uncomfortable laugh preceded a scan over the room, and his aid was right at the back, concerned eyes fixed on him. He opened his eyes wide, staring at Marco, tilting his head slightly towards the creepy dude. In a couple of steps, the bodyguard was by his side.</p><p>“Sir, please” His firm voice and that <em>huge </em>hand grabbing the pervert’s shoulder would intimidate anyone, but that <em> fucker </em> was stubborn.</p><p>“Oh, am I bothering you?” The creep asked Jean directly, forcing him to put on a fake smile, licking his lips to swallow what he really wanted to say.</p><p>“I think we’d be a bit more comfortable if you take a tiny step back, pal” The guy frowned, affronted.</p><p>“You winked at me, back at the stage. You smirked at me just a minute ago, are you playing or what?”</p><p>“Sir, please, I need you to leave the room” Marco’s grasp became tighter, making the man take one step back.</p><p>“What the… I demand my money back! This was a scam!”</p><p>Even when that asshole screamed right on his face, Marco stared undisturbed, leading him towards the exit. Jean apologized to the rest of their fans, lifting the spirits with a fast joke, listening to a tiny girl who apparently was taking singing classes and wanted some tips.</p><p>But it changed his mood, his smiles weren’t as sincere and he felt uncomfortable for the rest of the meet and greet. After some pictures and the promise of following them back on social media, they finally left and Jean could breathe, smiles falling from his lips.</p><p>“Dude, I’m sorry about that guy, creepy asshole...” Connie rubbed his back and Sasha offered some chocolates he declined with a smile.</p><p>“Lucky you Marco was there to save the day” Eren punched his shoulder, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Dude, stop it already”</p><p>“At least I made you smile…”</p><p>Quietness and relaxation shaped the drive back to their hotel room, half of them asleep, the other half checking for pictures and the hashtag in social media, leaving some likes and comments here and there to give fans happy heart attacks.</p><p>As soon as they got off the bus, more fans were there to greet them, and even when he was tired as fuck, he stopped by to say hi and share hugs, grateful for their passion and dedication, bodyguards right at their backs. The bunch went to the restaurant to eat something but Jean decided against it, tiredness winning over food.</p><p>He didn’t see Marco again until they got into the hotel, and there he was, waiting in the lobby, hands at his back. Jean was too tired to be excited or horny, so he felt a bit more comfortable approaching him.</p><p>“Sorry about that piece of shit, and thank you” </p><p>Marco looked at him, shaking his head, “I was doing my job, that’s all”</p><p>Jean yawned, stretching his arms above his head, getting inside the elevator, “good job, then”</p><p>And with that, the conversation died. Maybe it was because they barely knew each other but Marco wasn't talkative at all. Now that he looked at him from the side, a perfect, strong jawline got him salivating, wide neck over the collar of his black suit and shirt. </p><p>
  <em> Maybe I'm not that tired, after all </em>
</p><p>And Marco caught him staring, of course, he did. "Are you tired? I'm sorry you've got stuck with me, I bet it's way past your bedtime" Jean tried to play it cool, heart way more awake than he was.</p><p>"It's ok, I'll rest as soon as I leave you in your room" Jean raised an eyebrow, a playful smile coming to his lips.</p><p>"You take this very seriously, don't you?" </p><p>Marco nodded, solemn eyes fixed on him, "I must. Your safety depends on me, after all."</p><p>"I'm such a lucky boy to have you all by myself" He knew how he sounded and by the look in Marco's eyes, he got his intentions.</p><p>But the man just sighed, staring ahead, "I don't know about that".</p><p>They walked out of the elevator, Marco getting inside Jean's room and checking every corner. He came back, handing him the key card, "I'll be next door. If anything goes wrong, call my name. I will hear you"</p><p>"Yes, sir. Don't you wanna stay to take a drink or something?" He had to try, he couldn't just let that sweet treat leave his room without at least making a tiny move.</p><p>"Good night, Jean" Marco raised his eyebrows in an obvious request to behave.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever" he shrugged. Marco closed the door and Jean's defeated sigh got lost in the lonely, silent, and cold room.</p><p>
  <em> Heh, just like my heart. </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>He thinks he snored in the bathtub. No, he was sure he did. </p><p>Drowsy, a bit wet, and a lot tired, Jean dragged his feet to the bed. A yawn almost splits his face in two, tiny tears at the corner of his exhausted eyes forcing him to rub them. It was always like that after a concert, the day too long and too intense so his body was shutting down. </p><p>Something yanked him to the side, his back hitting the wall headfirst. "OWWWW!! What the—”</p><p>"Hello again" Jean snapped his eyes open, sleepiness drifting away in favor of slow, steady panic flooding his veins.</p><p>"You, how, what a—"</p><p>"We are alone now, you don't have to put on a show, babe"</p><p>He had no idea how that freak made it into his bedroom but there he was, hands reaching for him, closer, too close. </p><p>He needed Marco.</p><p>Marco, who was right behind the wall he was leaning his back. Jean raised a leg, stamping his foot against it as hard as he could, raising his voice, "What the fuck?!!! What are you doing here!!?? Marco!! Mar<em>— </em>"</p><p>"Sshuuushshsushsush" Cold hands muffled his screams but Jean kept kicking and kicking, eyes bugging out from his skull staring at that crazy stalker, closer, <em> oh fuck he's too close, Marco where are you?? </em></p><p>After a soft beep, the door at his left banged open. In a blink, that guy was pinned to the floor, facing down. Marco pressed a knee on his back, pulling up from one of the man's arms, holding his head down with the other hand.</p><p>"Jean, are you ok?" His voice managed to come in a comforting tone despite the situation.</p><p>"Yeah, this is not the first time something like this happens, but in my own room? Fuck, I just…"</p><p>"Call reception, ask for someone to take this gentleman outside the building and to the police station"</p><p>"What the fuck are yoyAAAAAHHH"</p><p>"Shut up" Marco growled behind gritted teeth.</p><p>And <em>damn </em>what a vision…</p><p>Jean reached for the phone, asking for help while drinking every muscle at display in front of him. Marco appeared in black boxers, a white tank top stretched over his back, all those freckles and that olive skin over rippling muscles, skin, skin, skin everywhere, that strength...</p><p>Security came surprisingly fast, Marco staying by his side while they took the stalker away, asking Jean to explain what happened, letting him know that maybe he should make an official claim tomorrow at the office.</p><p>They said their goodnights and left the building, taking the menace away from their sight. </p><p>Marco turned around, silky, black hair now framing his concerned face, no hair gel to be found and <em>fuck, </em>that made him ten times prettier "you sure you are ok?"</p><p>"Yeah" Jean crossed his arms, leaning on the door frame, "my hero was right on time" He smirked at him, he just had to.</p><p>And there it was, a flaw in Marco's mask. </p><p>Warm eyes fell from his lips to his naked chest, Adam's apple bobbing when swallowing, followed by a short intake of air.</p><p>"Good night" he muttered, turning around to hastily hide in his room.</p><p>Jean smiled wider right before closing the door, "Gotcha". </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art from this chapter <a href="https://twitter.com/Tifa_SugART/status/1335656756098240518">here</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Where the dreamers go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you are reading this still, thank u ♥<br/>And remember! It looks way longer than it is because of the Twitter and WhatsApp conversations!</p><p> </p><p>Art from this chapter <a href="https://twitter.com/Tifa_SugART/status/1335656756098240518">here</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><hr/><p>“How fast did he get into your room?” Connie asked from his seat beside Jean, yawning stretched out and leaning his back against the plane window.</p><p>“I told you the story twice already but, man, one moment I was scared shit and the other I was…” He looked over the front seats, spotting a mope of gelled dark hair five rows ahead from them, “horny as fuck” he whispered, making Sasha laugh, standing behind his seat and leaning over the headrest.</p><p>“Why?” Connie giggled, “I didn’t know you got off from watching police brutality”</p><p>“Dude!! He’s not a fucking cop!” Jean raised his upper lip in disgust, “and that wasn’t it. He appeared in a fucking tank top that barely left anything to the imagination and, wow…”</p><p>“Did you two… you know, afterward?” Sasha whispered, a wicked smile on her lips.</p><p>“No. No, we didn’t” </p><p>“There’s always a first time for being rejected, get used to it” Eren kindly suggested, peeking above the seat in front of him.</p><p>And it hit so close to home it bruised his ego, no witty comebacks whatsoever this time, sulking in his own misery. Because even if Marco was nice, receptive, and kind enough to keep a conversation, he showed zero interest in him aside from the look on his face that night. </p><p>And it was killing him.</p><p>Eren was right, he hasn’t felt this sexually frustrated in ages and it was a hard feeling to deal with, getting harder with every week by his side, every interaction, every hint of his scent, every glimpse of his freckles, warm eyes, or bubble butt inside those black slacks.</p><p>Jean rubbed his face huffing and complaining, getting up to release some frustration in the bathroom. And even when he knew it would hurt, he stopped by his bodyguard.</p><p>“Hey, you comfy?” He was trying, <em>for fucks sake</em> he was trying hard, but nothing seemed to work. </p><p>Marco stared up from the movie he'd been watching, plucking an earphone out. And that poker face, <em>shit</em>, he’d give anything to see it crumble, to get a glimpse of a smile or a kinder expression, “Sorry, what?”</p><p>“Nah, wondering how my hero was doing during this tedious flight, that’s all” Jean was charming, he knew he was, and that smirk of his worked every single time; but this.</p><p>“Fine, I guess. A bit stiff, to be honest”</p><p>Jean licked his lips, lowering his head and voice, “Oh, is that so? Well, if you wanna relax those muscles come to find me, I’ll be right there” He jerked his head back, towards the bathroom.</p><p>Marco’s eyes switched from it to his eyes and back, blinked once, twice, and took a deep breath, “I’m fine, thanks”</p><p>And he resumed watching the movie, ignoring Jean, upsetting him. It wasn't just physical rejection, it started to be emotional <em>and that shit was fucked up</em>.</p><p>It affected him way more than he was willing to accept, even when it probably was unintentional.</p><p>Probably.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe.</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>Just this one time he listened to his boss, picking a woman his age from the swarm of fans right outside the hotel bedroom. Her black hair and big brown eyes got his attention, that and her busty blonde hair friend screaming at him to come closer. </p><p>She was clearly overwhelmed, shy, but staring into his eyes nonetheless. And just when Jean tilted her face he spotted a pretty mole over her soft lips, kissing them tender and slowly.</p><p>“Oh my gooooooooooooood” The friend laughed by their side, shaking the brunette once Jean pulled away, “Hey, hey, Jean, introduce me to that hottie behind you!!” </p><p>Jean looked back to a startled Marco, raising his eyebrows slowly while checking the girl out. And the blondie was winking at him, greeting him with a wiggle of her fingers, “Mr. Marco Bodt?? He’s working and maybe a bit boring but hey, he surely had the looks”</p><p>“Fuck my life, he does”</p><p>Jean laughed, amused, walking into the lobby followed by a still shocked bodyguard. “Would you look at that? Stealing the spotlight, aren’t we, Bodt?”</p><p>“I’m not, shut up” It was the first time he shared a different emotion from his professional demeanor, cheeks slightly flushed, maybe a bit uncomfortable.</p><p>“Look, this stuff happens when you walk around looking like that, don’t act surprised” Jean hit the button to his floor, leaning against the back of the elevator.</p><p>“Looking like what? I’m nothing like you” He got the feeling that the muttering wasn’t intentional, slipping from his lips by mistake.</p><p>“No, and that’s precisely what feels so new and refreshing. You’re huge and neat, I’m an unkempt twink. Maybe you should kiss one or two people?”</p><p>“No, I wouldn’t do that to them” Jean followed him out of the elevator, frowning.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Marco seemed upset all of a sudden, and the fire in his eyes awakened some in his guts, “they enjoy my kisses”</p><p>“They do at the moment, but most of them are teens and you’re giving them false expectations. And that hurts”</p><p>“Man, it’s not that deep, chill” Marco stopped dead on his tracks, angrier than before, snapping at him.</p><p>“Don’t you fucking dare to tell me how to feel, you have no right” </p><p>Jean stared at him, completely lost by that change of attitude, a novelty after a month of blank stares and lame conversations. “Listen, I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry, can we talk inside the roo—</p><p>“That’s the fucking problem, you don’t know why. It’s been a month and I thought that, maybe, you’d remember” A crazy idea was forming in Jean’s mind, but it couldn’t be it, <em>right?</em> “How could you? You kiss a different person every day and that, for how long? How many years?”</p><p>“Marco, please, come inside, let’s talk about this”</p><p>“No, I won’t”</p><p>He strolled over the hallway straight into his room, checking the safety of it, as usual, throwing the key card on the bed and stamping out without even looking at him. “...Ok?”</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p><br/>“I don’t understand men” Chocolates, snacks and sweets didn’t do anything to lift his mood. He laid down beside Sasha, mouth dry from the long conversation and way too many candies.</p><p>“What are you talking about? You guys are usually the most simple thing on Earth” Sasha threw candies at him, shaking her head, brown locks falling over her eyes.</p><p>“Well, Marco is not. Women are easy to please but Marco? Fuck…” He removed one of the hair ties he usually wore on his wrist, handing it to Sasha, watching her trying to copy his bun, failing and giggling.</p><p>“Look, I should leave and you should talk to him” She suggested, sucking chocolate from her fingers, “I don’t know when, but you definitely kissed the guy at least once”</p><p>“I would remember, that’s impossible. Marco is…”</p><p>“You sure you would?” His eyes reflected his own guilt because no, he wasn’t sure he would remember, “Marco has been our fan for ages, maybe he was younger or different, I don’t know”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Jean sat on the bed, frankly surprised by the news, “He’s a fan?”</p><p>“Hardcore one! He asked for our signatures and pictures the very first day” Jean remained silent, lowering his gaze, feeling like shit, “he didn’t ask for yours?”</p><p>“No… he never uhm, he never shows any interest in me, I don’t get it. Does he hate me in secret?”</p><p>“You need to fix this. Now. Come on, get up, I’ll clean the mess, shoo, shoo!”</p><p>He thought this conversation would make him feel confident, but the cure proved to be worse than the original problem. <em>Marco got along with everyone but him?</em> That was worse than expected, <em>way worse</em>, a hard blow to his self-esteem.</p><p>He left the room in a black t-shirt and white sweatpants, messy hair falling from his bun, no makeup at all, the perfect target for a paparazzi. Curling his toes on the corridor rug, Jean knocked on the door.</p><p>Marco opened a crack and stared at him, clenching his jaw, talking even before Jean had a chance to open his mouth “My behavior has been highly inappropriate and unprofessional, I apologize, it won’t happen again.”</p><p>Jean had to sneak a leg between the door and the frame, holding it open with half his body, “Wait, don’t close, please, listen to me”.</p><p>“There’s nothing to talk about. Now, if you excuse me”</p><p>“No I don’t excuse you, Marco” Brown eyes brimming with anger stared at him, nostrils flaring, “let me in, please, give me five minutes and if you still don’t wanna talk I’ll leave you alone”</p><p>A long exhale later he opened his door, making way for Jean to come in, “Speak” He closed after him, arms crossed in front of a tight red shirt.</p><p>“I know better than anyone that I can be a jerk sometimes, I’m human, I make mistakes. But I can’t apologize or make it better if I don’t know exactly what I did” Marco shook his head, scratching his forehead, eyes downcast, “Sasha told me you are our fan, that you are a fanboy, actually”</p><p>“I’m…” He licked his lips, shutting up, still shaking his head.</p><p>“You’ve been nothing but cold to me, and after what you told me I guess I’ve been an asshole to you once, but I’m not sure, so please, help me here”</p><p>Marco stayed quiet for almost a minute, considering, thinking or who knows what. Jean crossed his arms as well, feeling small and unwanted. Rejected once again. And then the man in front of him sighed, deflating and sitting on the bed, swallowing.</p><p>“You can’t begin to imagine how vulnerable a fourteen-year-old is”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>&lt;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <em>7 YEARS AGO</em></strong>
</p><p>The bus arrived and Marco's heart was about to explode. <em>404</em> was still a small band but they were amazing, perfect, the best, and their fan club were still small, waiting for them in the cold of December, hopes high and screams loud.</p><p>Eren was the first getting off the bus and they patiently waited for him to approach, if anything, <em>404</em> were super kind to their fans. His friends melted on the spot when green eyes focused on them, signing every single one of the notebooks handed to him. </p><p>Sasha came after, smiling wide, Connie clinging by her shoulders. Rumors said they were an item, but Marco suspected otherwise. And then there he was, Jean Kirstein, tall, seven years older than him and out of reach.</p><p>But he still hoped, holding his hands close to his chest, eyes fixed on golden eyes painted in black, piercings shining under the street lights, blonde hair and brown undercut looking as sexy as always, and he dreamed, he dreamed so much. </p><p>He yearned those lips, and he could faint right on the spot because the man smirked at him. </p><p>
  <em>AT HIM.</em>
</p><p>Not at the girls around him.</p><p>Marco heard his friends screaming something, saw Jean’s perfect smile when someone asked for who knows what, and then his focus turned back to him, to Marco, a no one, a kid in his eyes for sure.</p><p>The back of his hand stroked a freckled cheek, a soft <em>hi</em> murmured in his lips right before he received his first kiss.</p><p>A kiss.</p><p>
  <em>Jean Kirstein, his gay awakening, the lead singer from 404, and the love of his life, was kissing him.</em>
</p><p>Marco held himself for dear life, closing his eyes, lost, high in the feeling of warm lips brushing against his. A soft laugh opened half-lidded eyes and four life-changing words shook his world.</p><p>“You are so cute”</p><p>
  <strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&gt;</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, shit, you were fourteen? God, I must have been...”</p><p>“Twenty-one, just like me right now. And that’s what I’m talking about” Marco looked at him, frustration now shaping his beautiful features, “That’s why you can’t go around kissing people. I spent most of my teen days firmly believing that you’d come back for me. I was so innocent, Jean”</p><p>“I’m so, so sorry” He sat beside him, hand rubbing his neck in embarrassment, “I didn’t mean harm, I never do. I just want them, you, to take a nice memory from our interaction”</p><p>“Too much, it’s too much and I know I’m no one to say this, but you should stop it” </p><p>“Yeah, I see that now, and I am so sorry, I… fuck” Jean sighed, a cynical laugh coming out his nose. Marco’s muscles relaxed at that, tilting his head, curious “I get your resentment, I deserve your disdain a 100%”</p><p>Marco shifted on the bed, sighing, “It… wasn’t disdain” </p><p>Jean looked up at his face, and <em>is that a blush what I see??</em> “And then how do you call all those long faces and rejections?”</p><p>“Listen, I am no longer angry at you, or at least not after taking it all out of my chest” And he noticed the anger disappearing as soon as he shared his story and Jean sympathized, “It’s just, I can’t stand thinking that some other person could feel as bad as I did back then”</p><p>“Yeah, I get it, and that was today’s issue” Marco looked at him sideways, a strand of black hair falling forwards “but what about the rest of the time? If you are not mad at me, why are you so distant?”</p><p>He didn’t reply immediately, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times until words came to him. Jean’s first impulse was to touch his back in an attempt of providing comfort but he wasn’t sure what was too much, so he buried his hands between his legs, listening carefully.</p><p>“There was nothing more important to me than getting to meet the band, it was my dream. And this line of work gave me an opportunity” He fiddled with his fingernails the entire conversation, eluding Jean’s eyes, “I trained hard, got my major sooner than expected, and got a nice recommendation. And I made it”</p><p>He stopped for a second, shaking his head, a tiny smile curving his lips, “I’d never thought I could actually be around you all this much, and it overwhelmed me, especially when I was assigned to be your personal bodyguard”</p><p>“I feel like I should apologize again but I’m not getting bad vibes from you, so…” </p><p>Marco let go a puff of air, a nervous laugh, and a fast lick to his lips before resuming his explanation, “I was conflicted, all this time I’ve been dying to talk to you, ask you lots of things, Jean, but past still hurt and I needed the conversation we just had, I realize that now” He took a deep breath, smacking his legs and straightening his back, “And it’s good, you know, it’s like a weight was lifted and now I’m just…”</p><p>Stars in his eyes. </p><p>He recognized them, the eyes of a fan, the adoration, the excitement. It was completely different from Marco’s attitude in the past month, and he liked it a bit too much, “That’s good to hear” His voice came softer than expected, and Marco just stared, dumbfounded, “if I knew that everything it took was an apology to get you this smitten…”</p><p>Marco blinked, touching his face, reddening, “Sorry, I just… This is why I didn’t talk to you properly before, aside from the unfair resentment. This is my job and I must keep it professional but sometimes it gets a bit hard around you” Jean couldn’t help the tiny smirk curling his lip or the raise of his eyebrow, “You’ve always been my favorite after all”</p><p>“Am I now?” Marco’s shy smile was the cutest thing he’s ever seen and he almost said it out loud. However, after hearing his story, he knew better. Jean stood, taking a deep breath, “So, we good?”</p><p>Marco nodded, hands resting on his lap, eyes sparkling with that new emotion, beaming at him. Flirting was so tempting, so easy because now that the man lowered his barrier he knew how to pull his strings, <em>and damn,</em> how cute he’d be all shy and bashful.</p><p>But he behaved, trying to do the right thing, for once. “If you want a picture or some signature on your underwear, I’m next door”</p><p>A little wink would make no harm, right? Marco sucked his lips, hiding a smile, “Sure”</p><p>Jean’s steps felt lighter, self-esteem restored and mood high, smiling wide at Sasha when he got into his room. The drummer played games on her phone, spread out in a bed still covered in candy wraps, “How did it go?” She asked, barely paying attention to him.</p><p>“He’s so into me, Sash” He giggled and the girl lowered her phone, deadpan look on her face, staring at him.</p><p>“No shit, Sherlock”</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>It took them 3 days to finish it, but it was finally done. </p><p>Jean sat in front of Marco at the hotel cafeteria, placing his tray and a folder with 3 sheets on the table. Chestnut, sleepy eyes greeted him, and <em>fuck</em>, holding back the flirting was, by far, the hardest thing he’s ever done.,</p><p>“Take this as an extension of my apologies, and you’re welcome,” He said before taking a sip of the scalding hot tea.</p><p>“What is this?” Long, thick fingers —<em>No, don’t think about it, no, stop</em>—, opened the folder, lips moving in silence, reading the first sentences, “Oh! Is this a 21 questions thing?”</p><p>“Yeah, but just 10 for now. These motherfuckers are lazy as fuck” He stole a bite from Marco’s toast, earning himself an annoyed huff.</p><p>Their interactions changed for good since Jean apologized and Marco came clean about his feelings for him, past or present. Jean respected boundaries and the brunet let his guard down, finally. They had full conversations, joking now and then, visibly more relaxed with the rest of the band as well.</p><p>“They are not lazy, they work super hard, and don’t steal my food! Where are your answers?” Marco turned the pages, looking for his sheet.</p><p>“Oh I will tell you now, but on one condition: You’ll answer them too” Marco let the papers down, squinting his eyes, drinking from lukewarm coffee.</p><p>“Ok” He nodded, looking at the questionnaires, “So, first one, <em>‘What animal would you like to be’</em>, hmmm, I don’t know, an otter, maybe”</p><p>“Of course” Jean chuckled, softened by the idea, “Eren calls me horse face so, a horse? but it’s too lame, maybe a unicorn?”</p><p>“You? Going unnoticed? Never” Marco raised his eyebrows, reading their answers and apparently the next ones. He choked on his coffee, coughing and hitting his chest, eyes wide “Eren is in a relationship, and Sasha is engaged?!”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, she’s engaged to Niccolo, a cook from Mare. And Eren is in a poly relationship with Armin and Mikasa, childhood friends from Shiganshina just like him. She’s so fucking hot it’s crazy”</p><p>“You gotta show me their pictures later…”</p><p>“Ask them yourself” Jean shrugged, “What about you?”</p><p>“Me? Oh, single” He shrugged as if it were obvious, “And ehm, I guess I know this but, you?”</p><p>“Single and ready to mingle” Jean’s eyebrows bounced up and down, a shy smile curving Marco’s lips, <em>those fucking beautiful lips, fuck, I wanna kiss him so badly.</em></p><p>A bunch of common questions came after: favorite color, favorite food, family, and pets.</p><p><em>“A dream job</em>… well, it looks like they are where they belong, you too?” Jean nodded, knowing he was lucky at least in that aspect, “Mine, well, it’s silly and you’re gonna laugh, I’d rather not answer this?”</p><p>“Oh no, now I’m ten times more curious, spill” Jean leaned on the table, arms crossed, tilting his chin up, “come on, I promise I won’t laugh”</p><p>“Well, I… I wanted to be a singer, but it’s so silly, it’s just a dream, nothing realistic anyway” Jean stared at Marco’s slight blush, clearly uncomfortable, eyes cast down and lips pressed on a thin line.</p><p>“Marco, what the fuck, you sing?” He shook his head, raising one shoulder.</p><p>“It’s just a hobby, nothing serious”</p><p>“Ok, you’re gonna sing to me some of our tracks later, and I don’t take a no for an answer” Marco lifted his gaze, apparently terrified.</p><p>“I could never! Look, just, lets, ok, no, next question” Jean let him change the topic, for the time being, “Ok, ‘If you had to be a Paramore song which song would you be?’, oh, I don’t know, there’s a lot… uhm… maybe ‘<a href="https://youtu.be/1rxYEhGtkuM">Daydreaming</a>’?”</p><p>“Oh, that’s a good one, I’ve always wanted to sing with Hayley but she’s so out of our league” Marco took a sharp intake of air.</p><p>“I would die if you do that” Jean chuckled pleased and amused at how badly he could fanboy over the band.</p><p>“I’d be ‘<a href="https://youtu.be/aCUzaimnar0?t=9">Fake happy</a>’, I think” Marco frowned at his answer, tilting his head.</p><p>“That’s sad” And now it was Jean’s turn to lower his gaze.</p><p>“I know, but that’s how things are, just, don’t tell anyone” He shifted on his seat, uncomfortable, “My fucker boy reputation is at stake”</p><p>“I wasn’t expecting that…” He could feel Marco’s eyes on him, searching, so he pierced him with his golden eyes, staring into his intensely enough to make him swallow, agitated “Aaahmm… <em>Piercings or tattoos</em>, heh, none, yet”</p><p>“Uh, <em>yet</em>, I wonder what would you have” </p><p>He did his best to maintain a normal conversation but it started to be loaded with feelings and some weird energy between them. He didn’t want to mess with what they built over the past days, or to make Marco uncomfortable. </p><p>But he totally did by oversharing and hence, he got moody as fuck. </p><p>“Hey, you ok?” And Marco noticed, always so observant.</p><p>Jean faked a smile and sighed, nodding, “Yeah, got lost in thoughts for a sec there, anyway! I got a bunch of piercings as you can see” He pointed at his ears, sticking out his tongue, Marco’s gaze falling to it and his lips, “And a tiny tattoo”</p><p>“I know, I saw” He muttered, eyes dreamy all of a sudden, “On your hip, right?”</p><p>“I guess you looked up the pictures my former bodyguard shared, didn’t you?” </p><p>“No.” The fast answer said otherwise. Jean smirked, watching a full blush cover his cheeks and neck. The vision of Marco, hair slicked back and fancy black clothes while being that sheepish, improved his humor, “Yes, sorry”</p><p>“Don’t be, everyone did. At least I hope you enjoyed them”</p><p>“Shut up” Marco rubbed his face with a hand, leaning on it, elbow propped on the table.</p><p>Jean was naked in those pictures, very naked and very wet, fresh from the shower, “I was embarrassed at first but it drew attention to the band, so, whatever, I’m ok with it. And I’m hot, so it’s not that bad after all”</p><p>“OK! So, the last one!” His yelp made people stare at them, Jean laughing at his embarrassment, amazed by how easy his emotions changed around that man. He felt vulnerable, but not in a bad way, <em>“Celebrity Crush?</em> Oh, fuck you, Jean”</p><p>“Gladly” Marco choked again, this time over nothing and worse than before. It took him a couple of minutes and a whole glass of water to compose himself, focusing his attention on the list, “Too much? Sorry”</p><p>“It’s, it’s ok. Ehm… Connie likes Beyonce, well, I’m gay and I like her, who doesn't? Sasha likes Tom Hiddleston and Eren likes Paul Walker, that… I wasn’t expecting that.”</p><p>“If I had to choose a man and a woman it would be Katherin Winnick and Bryan Dechart” Marco stared at him, confused, “The guy who played Connor in Detroit Become Human, the game?”</p><p>“Oh. I know him, he’s cute” </p><p><em>He looks a lot like you, asshole, get the signs</em>, “And besides of me, of course, who’s your celebrity crush”</p><p>“Jean, please, don’t” The man shook his head, closing his beautiful eyes tightly.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just so easy…” </p><p>“I don’t know, there’s a bunch, but, uhm, Josh Holloway?? He was Sawyer, in Lost”</p><p>“Oh! Yeah, he’s hot as fuck” Marco stood, grabbing his tray and the folder, “You leaving already?”</p><p>“I think we should get going, you need to go to the venue for the rehearsal and we’ve already lost a lot of time here” Jean stood as well, following him.</p><p>Marco remained silent all the way up to their rooms, a bit more serious than usual, and all the alarms set on Jean’s mind; he fucked up. So, right before he got into his room, the blond caught him by the arm.</p><p>“Hey, sorry if I made the situation uncomfortable for you” Marco swallowed, shaking his head.</p><p>“I’ve got to get used to this, I’m not… this is so much, Jean, staying around you like this and you’re so straightforward and I can’t, your flirting is so, <em>God”</em> His nervous laughter made Jean’s chest tight.</p><p>Too tight.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, no.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Noooo, no, no, no.</em>
</p><p>“Ok, I’ll try to take it easy, sorry”</p><p>Marco shook his head once again, getting into his room and smiling up at him before closing the door, “Don’t be, I like it”</p><p>Jean stood alone in the corridor for a whole minute, trying to understand what was going on in his chest and stomach, the crazy heartbeats and dizziness that came with such a strong, unknown emotion.</p><p>Or was it?</p><p>
  <em>Oh, no…</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This author invites and appreciates responses, including:</p><p>· Short comments<br/>· Long comments<br/>· Questions<br/>· “&lt;3” as extra kudos<br/>· Reader-reader interaction<br/>· This author replies to comments.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/tifa_sugar">· Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://tifasugar.tumblr.com/">· Tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A hold on me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you're still around THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'm gonna cry T^T</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
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</p><hr/><p>Once his makeup was fixed, warming up the voice in the meantime, and his bad-boy clothes were on point —black leather pants, and a cherry red t-shirt— he went straight to Marco’s door, knocking, smiling at those beautiful freckles.</p><p>“Hey, I’m heading to Eren’s room to record some stuff for social media, wanna join?” He could swear there were sparkles in his wide eyes.</p><p>“Of course! Gimme a sec” He watched him turning off the tv, throwing a blue sweater over his head, almost jumping on the spot.</p><p>“Are you wearing perfume or something?” Jean sniffed the air in his direction, a low hum vibrating in his chest because that smell was mouth-watering.</p><p>“No, if anything I need a shower” He smelt himself, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>
  <em>Stupid bodyguard being stupidly handsome and perfect and smelling like a treat ready to be devoured fucking hell I’m gonna jump on him please someone stop me I’m getting seriously aroused over nothing fuck fuck fuCK FUCK FUCK</em>
</p><p>“Nah, you smell nice” </p><p>Eren’s room was just three doors away, the sound of his guitar guiding him directly to it, “Hey, we’re here” The melody cut abruptly, door opening to reveal a fully prepared guitarist ready to perform “Getting pretty for your audience?”</p><p>“Unlike someone” Jean shoved him playfully, sitting in front of the camera already set facing two armchairs, “Hi, Marco”</p><p>“Hi, where do I…?” Eren pointed to a chair behind the camera.</p><p>“Could you check if we both get into the frame? And could you press record when we’re ready?”</p><p>“Sure!!” He eagerly sat behind it, waiting for Eren's directions. A fang caught the side of his lower lip softly <em>and I need to kiss those cheeks, and nose, and lips, an—</em></p><p>“Look how happy your boyfriend is” Even if it was a low murmur, Jean hit Eren all the same.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, he’s nothing like it”</p><p>
  <em>“Yet”</em>
</p><p>“Shush”</p><p>“This looks great, so, yeah, whenever you are ready!” Both turned their attention to Marco, beaming at them, joy making his smile brighter than the sun. </p><p>
  <em>God, he’s perfect.</em>
</p><p>Eren signaled him, and once Marco gave them a thumb up, he started playing. Jean followed the rhythm with his head, eyes closed and legs crossed under his body, hands tapping his knees.</p><p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/lbzF0JktG2g?t=40">“Maybe one day I'll be an honest man. Up till now, I'm doing the best I can”</a>
</p><p>He loved that, singing along Eren's guitar, no pressure whatsoever, free to make any mistakes without any consequences, just for him and the other two people in the room. It reinforced his love for music.</p><p>“Spend your days full of emptiness. Spend your years full of loneliness</p><p>Wasting love in a desperate caress. Rolling shadows of nights”</p><p>He opened his eyes, watching Eren play just as lost as him in the music. People usually loved those videos and Jean attributed it to how much they both enjoyed it. </p><p>“You dream on, brothers, while you can.</p><p>You dream on, sister, I hope you find the one</p><p>All of our lives covered up quickly by the tides of time”</p><p>And maybe this one was turning out to be the best cover they did so far, or Jean was enjoying himself too much. It didn’t care, when Eren strummed the final notes on his guitar, it felt flawless.</p><p>“Woohh…” Marco exhaled slowly, eyes wide and hands closed on fists over his thighs.</p><p>“You can stop the video, if you want to” Jean smiled at Eren’s amused request, getting up from his spot to check if it actually went as good as it felt.</p><p>And it was, it definitely was.</p><p>Especially when he looked up from the camera to the man standing beside him, dreamy eyes already on his from above, “You’re so cool…” Then he blinked, swallowing and shifting his attention to Eren as well, “You both are, super cool, heh”</p><p>“Thank you, Marco” </p><p>Eren tapped his shoulder, snickering and raising his eyebrows, throwing a knowing smirk at Jean</p><p>
  <em>Goddammit</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>This interview sucked.</p><p>He adored being under the spotlight but <em>that morning? Those questions? Lame.</em> And too personal.</p><p>Someone struggled with some boxes by their side and Marco hastily came running from his position behind the set, lending a hand and a sweet smile.</p><p>He was so…</p><p>"Handsome, isn't he?"</p><p>
  <em>And kind, and nice, and funny, and such a good person.</em>
</p><p>"Yeah" Jean sighed. </p><p>He snapped from the trance by Connie's giggles and nudges "You've got it bad huh? I've never seen you like this"</p><p>He had to put the heart breaker mask on and he had to do it fast, "I went to his room this morning and he completely forgot we had to leave earlier, so there he was, soaking in sweat, chest bared, looking like a dream and <em>fuck</em>, Con, if he smells like that during sex I'm go—</p><p>"Wow ok ok stop it" He knew he succeeded when the bassist's hand stopped too much information to be shared.</p><p>They added the final touches to Eren's makeup and Sasha's clothes, so the crappy questions resumed. "We are aware of the good things that come with being a celebrity but, what are the downsides to it?" </p><p>
  <em>Oh, just the terrible sense of loneliness every single night when I come back to my room with the echoes of unknown people cheering for a made-up character and not my true self, that's all.</em>
</p><p>"We are not free" Eren's dark side made the interviewer hesitate.</p><p>"Yeah, I can't go to a restaurant in peace!" Sasha said</p><p>"That's… not what I meant" Eren mumbled.</p><p>"I tried to buy some stuff for my parents the other day and I had to get back to my room, sometimes I wish I wasn't this pretty but…" Connie made the interviewer laugh and that was good because Levi was shooting daggers at Eren and Jean shifted into a gloomy mood.</p><p>
  <em>Again.</em>
</p><p>"Are you going to get back home when the tour ends?"</p><p>They all agreed, softly this time, longing. Jean? Not so much. He had his mum back in Trost, sure, but that was it. </p><p>Connie was a family person, Sasha and Eren had their partners but him? </p><p>No one. Not really.</p><p>The only person closer to him aside from the band members was Marco, and he would go back to his own city once Jean didn't need protection from crazy, hyped fans because of the tour.</p><p>His attitude still sucked by the time they were done. Despite this being the first day off in a month, nothing scheduled and nowhere to be, he didn't find joy in it.</p><p>And, <em>guess what,</em> Marco noticed.</p><p>Back in the hotel, right in front of the cold room, Marco tapped his shoulder "Any plans for today?" </p><p>Jean shook his head "Nah, you can change clothes or do whatever you want, I'm gonna lay on my back and do nothing" He shrugged, "You can join if you feel like it but it's gonna be boring"</p><p>Marco hesitated visibly, scratching the back of his head, "I don't know if…"</p><p>"Just hanging out, don't think about it too hard. I'm definitely not in the mood anyway"</p><p>"In the mood? For wha—oh, ok" He nodded, so silly and innocent sometimes "Let me change into something comfortable"</p><p>"Sure"</p><p>This should make him feel better, but it didn't. Jean removed his shoes and socks by the door, walking barefoot towards the bed, throwing himself over it after peeling his shirt off. </p><p>He was so tired.</p><p>And he felt too much.</p><p>And he didn’t think he deserved Marco.</p><p>And maybe he drifted away for a second because the door's beep startled him, sitting on the bed and rubbing his eyes, "sorry, I've never been an early bird"</p><p>Marco hesitated, thumb pointing at the door, "Would you rather rest? I can come by later" </p><p>He looked like a snack in another of his tight tank tops, sweatpants hanging low from his hips, revealing a stripe of skin under his navel, a peek of that happy trail he saw that morning between the vee framing it.</p><p>That lack of arousal was worrying.</p><p>Jean sighed, shaking his head, "Nah, come over, the bed is fucking huge"</p><p>Television was as terrible as his state of mind, but it would do the job, a distraction from stupid, romantic thoughts that would lead to nowhere when the bed dipped from Marco's weight by his side —thoughts like cuddling, or watching his face for hours straight, touching his hair and feeling his breath over his lips. </p><p>"Can I ask you something?" Cautious but curious, Marco's attention was on him instead of the tv screen. "If I cross a line just tell me" Jean looked at him, nodding, "Sometimes I can't help but notice how your face just… drops" </p><p>Jean pressed his lips tightly, knowing very well what he meant because even when he never saw his own face, he felt it deep inside.</p><p>"It happened the other day when we were having breakfast, and today at the interview. And, Jean, you can talk to me if you need to vent, are you ok?"</p><p>Jean swallowed, staring at his hands. Marco's voice was nothing but soothing, his presence was, his entire being. But he felt that vulnerability once more, pretending didn't work with this man, so he let go.</p><p>"This career drains you. It is rewarding most of the time, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I'd like to push the character aside"</p><p>Marco didn't talk or move at all, listening closely despite him not raising his eyes from his hands. He shouldn’t be exposing himself like that but once he started, he couldn’t stop.</p><p>"Cause, yeah, I'm flirty, you suffer that more than anyone. But that's not it, there's more about me and I can't… I used to bring someone to my room every night for a couple of years, you know?" </p><p>Jean scratched his neck, memories of heated nights he easily forgot. Of warm bodies that let him colder in the mornings. Of blurred faces and unimportant names.</p><p>"I had to stop cause those people made me feel even emptier. They didn't know me at all. They thought they did, but, <em>fuck, </em>no one does. Not really" </p><p>A lump stuck on his throat, eyes pickling from warm tears he should have shed long ago, "I've never fallen in love. I've never had anything real and yeah, maybe this is me getting obsessed with romantic love but, damn, I feel so fucking lonely. All the time".</p><p>If it wasn't from the heat and presence he felt by his side, he could swear he was alone in the room. Marco was still as a statue, just listening, watching him sniffling and wiping tears from his boney cheeks.</p><p>"I’ve got my family, I've got the band and tons of money, but, aside from that? Damn, you're the closest person to me right now, I've never shared this and I am sorry I’m boring you with this garbage"</p><p>"I'm not" he muttered. Jean raised a wet look in his direction to meet concerned eyes in the most beautiful face he's ever seen, and that just squeezed his heart a bit tighter.</p><p>"I don't know if this would help but…" He continued, biting his lip, breaking eye contact, "You already know I’ve had a crush on you since I was a teen, and even all those years I spent angry at you for the wrong reasons, you still were my celebrity crush"</p><p>"Yeah, but now you know me for real, right?" His sarcastic laugh sounded too bitter for his liking, “what a drag”</p><p>"No. Since we had that conversation and we became closer my feelings had changed. It's still a crush, I guess, but they shifted into, I don't know, something different. Something real, like, now I got to know you. The real you, or the bits you let me see, anyway 'cause I bet there's much more" </p><p>Jean held his breath, it was hard to deal with everything and now, on top of that, he had to believe the words coming from that beautiful and perfect creature.</p><p>"You are not just a heartbreaker, you are kind, funny, smart. Witty, interesting, you have so much to share, so creative, always supportive with the band and your friends" Marco sighed, smiling lightly, "You even listened to me when I asked you to stop kissing people, you were so fast to apologize, so sincere I just couldn't stay mad at you 'cause I, Jean, I really like you."</p><p>Jean's chest clenched tightly, tears rolling harder than before over his cheeks and he pressed a hand against his eyes, trying as hard as he could to get his shit together.</p><p>But it was too much.</p><p>"Shit, no, I didn't mean to make it worse" Marco sounded panicked and Jean laughed through the tears.</p><p>"You didn't, idiot, I'm… <em>fuck</em>, Marco, can you please fucking hold me already?"</p><p>"Oh" The bigger man pulled from his shoulder, curling his arms tenderly around him, cheek resting over the top of Jean's head. </p><p>"Tighter?" Jean pressed his arms against his chest, feeling squeezed and warm, "God, I needed this"</p><p>"Happy to deliver"</p><p>They stayed like that for who knows how long. At some point, they laid on the bed and that was it for Jean's exhausted mind and body. He passed out over his bodyguard, arms still tight around him the only thing keeping him together from falling apart.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>A sneeze woke him up. </p><p>He opened his eyes slowly to see Marco sitting by his side, a napkin under his rounded nose and an apology in his eyes. They both were under the covers but apparently, Marco has been eating something.</p><p>“Time issit?” He mumbled, brain still asleep. Marco grabbed his phone from the nightstand.</p><p>“5 pm, you slept a lot” Jean rubbed his eyes, sitting on the bed, “I guess you needed it”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess, sorry” He was close. Not too close, but close, and warm.</p><p>“No, don’t be. I didn’t plan to do anything anyway” Jean nodded, yawning.</p><p>“Did you leave some food for me? I’m starving”</p><p>Marco gave him a tray with a chicken sandwich, a salad, and dessert, way healthier than his regular meals. He absent-mindedly watched the tv, a drag contest or something, feeling rested and calm, more than he’s ever been even before the tour.</p><p>Neither of them mentioned Jean's drama, normalizing, and Jean couldn't be more grateful. He actually felt lighter after shedding some tears, thoughts a bit more clear.</p><p>“Ahm, I discovered a couple of things while you were sleeping” Jean’s heart skipped a beat, giving a start at his words, “Oh, nothing too serious, don’t make that face”</p><p>“Man, don’t scare me like that” Marco’s smile was contagious, or maybe Jean was too weak to it, both seemed right.</p><p>“One, you snore” Jean gasped, pretending to be offended, “Not too loud but enough to be noticed, and you make lots of little noises, it’s kind of cute. I almost record it to share on social media but then I remembered your former bodyguard and I didn’t”</p><p>“You, fucker!” They both laughed at that and Jean was marveled at how their relationship developed. He felt he could be himself around Marco, 100%, comfortable as he’s never been with anyone before, “Please, don’t”</p><p>“I won’t, I promise. And the second, well, check for yourself” </p><p>Marco handed his phone displaying a Twitter account called <em>‘Bodyguard404’</em> focused solely on Marco’s pictures. Tons and tons of them. And videos, cutting off the band members from them to zoom in on Marco. <em>Fan cams, people have good taste after all.</em></p><p>“What the hell…? You’re famous now?” Marco didn’t seem upset if anything amused and slightly shy.</p><p>“It looks like it? I’m as surprised as you are, and the number of followers is growing by the minute”</p><p>“You should interact with this, upload a video, and tag them” Marco raised his eyebrows, snorting.</p><p>“Oh, no, I can’t do that”</p><p>“You’ll make people happy!! And it costs you nothing! Make a new account just for that and mute every notification. Or I can record something now and tag them if you like it better”</p><p>“But why do we have to interact with these stalkers?” Marco rubbed his cheek with a hand, embarrassed and so fucking cute, <em>stop iiiiiiiiiiiiiit.</em></p><p>“They are fans, don’t insult them like that! Come on, come closer”</p><p>“I don’t know… Jean… what if you get in trouble?”</p><p>“Pfff” He dismissed the idea shaking his hand, “Levi can suck my balls”</p><p>Jean held his phone in front of them, trying to fix his smeared make up with a finger, Marco’s combing his hair, or trying at least, whispering what a mess it was. And the action was so fucking endearing he had to stop for a second, just enjoying the feel of it.</p><p>
  <em>Touch starved, aren’t we?</em>
</p><p>Jean centered the camera on him leaving Marco out of frame, clearing his throat, pressing the record button.</p><p>“So, you noticed my bodyguard, didn't you?” Smirk, chin up, eyes slightly squinted, eyebrow lifted “Can’t say I’m surprised, he’s cute, right?” A pause, taking a breath, “And he’s actually super shy about it! But he shouldn’t” Then he leaned on Marco’s shoulder, revealing his shaking head in disapproval to the audience, a tiny smile on his lips, eyes averting the camera, “Oooh, come on, Marco, show them that pretty face of yours, don’t hide!”</p><p>Marco looked up without lifting his head, just his eyes, and Jean’s breath caught, smile faltering because <em>that stare, </em>those deep brown eyes were mesmerizing. An urge to look at the man himself overpowered him, so close for the sake of the video.</p><p>Marco sighed, talking to the camera, “Thanks, I guess, I wasn’t expecting this but, thank you”</p><p>Jean inhaled slowly, a bit shaky, tearing his gaze away from those lips, lifting his eyes at the camera and winking, “You’re welcome, y’all”</p><p>And he cut the video.</p><p>And then he watched the video.</p><p>“It came out better than expected, I don’t look too bad” Marco approved.</p><p>But Jean wasn’t that sure. It put on display how obvious his crush was, so into the guy he couldn't stop gaping, and he wondered if that was his face every time he looked at Marco, because, <em>wow, pathetic.</em> </p><p>Aaaaand shared, he was down the rabbit hole anyway.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>Warm water hit his face and he didn’t want to think about it, but his mind begged to differ.</p><p>They spent the whole day together. It was dinner time, Marco was ordering some food while he showered, and it felt right, he was comfortable. He would be tired of anyone by now, his social bar can only get to a point but Marco surpassed it. </p><p>No. There was no social limit with him, at all. He just wanted more of his soothing voice, of his warmth, his sweet smiles and cute laugh, his scent, warm eyes, and plush lips. A <a href="https://youtu.be/jmO3LfVigM8?t=33">song</a> looped in his mind, some lines in particular.</p><p>
  <em>‘Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love that I've been searching for?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is this love or am I dreaming? This must be love 'cause it's really got a hold on me’</em>
</p><p>He laughed at himself because, how corny was that? His chest tightened in the strangest moments: caused by a hum from his throat, watching the wrinkles on his nose when he laughed, his sights, a random exchange of looks.</p><p>He toweled himself, chewing over the idea of coming clean or keeping it to himself. Because yeah, Marco said he liked him, but he didn’t want to fuck things up, not again, <em>not with him</em>. And that distress reflected all over his face when he came out of the bathroom, steam slipping through the door behind him. </p><p>Marco clicked his tongue. “I bet my right hand you’ve been thinking too hard again” Jean met his worried gaze, shrugging.</p><p>“Bad mind day, that’s all. It’ll pass, it always does” He sat back by his side, Marco’s eyes following every move.</p><p>“You can talk to me, you know that, right?” Jean nodded, looking for his phone, for a distraction of that impulse inside his chest telling him to confess it all.</p><p>“This blew up!” It wasn’t the swiftest change of topics but Marco went along with it, peeking at his phone and gasping.</p><p>“Oh my God. They are all… why are they saying, oh my God” Marco covered his mouth and Jean had to laugh, mildly panicking in secret.</p><p>
  <em>Fucking fans I hate and love them.</em>
</p><p>“So, apparently, you’re my boyfriend now” He smirked, testing the waters. Marco turned bright red, averting his gaze but still looking sideways.</p><p>“But they, is that a fan art?! Jean!! It’s! Oh my…” He pulled from his collar, suffocated and flustered to no end. Chuckles turned into laughter, the constant vibrations stealing his attention from the bashful bodyguard to a series of incoming messages.</p><p>“The band saw the video, they are losing it and oh, boy, they are going to tease you so much”</p><p>Marco whined, leaning forward to bury his face on his hands, causing Jean's laugh to high up a notch.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It is love.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art from this chapter:</p><p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/Tifa_SugART/status/1335658122040504321">· Jean and Eren playing</a>
  <br/>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/Tifa_SugART/status/1335658614892208133">· Marco pfp</a>
  <br/>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/Tifa_SugART/status/1335658852444999681">· Jean staring at Marco in the live stream</a>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Can't let you go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AND YOU REACHED SUCCESSFULLY THE NSFW, congratulations!!!<br/>After this chapter there's a tiny epilogue so, thank you for reading. I adore y'all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>They had dinner while watching a tv show about home makeovers. And Marco's yawns became constant, long ones that left him teary and looking destroyed. Jean didn’t want to, but he knew this moment would come eventually.</p><p>“You should go to sleep, we’ve gotta get up early tomorrow morning to take a plane”</p><p>“Hmmm, yeah, it's your last concert. Does it feel different?” Conversations flowed with such ease, just like if they’ve been doing that for years.</p><p>“Not particularly, but there’s some kind of relief. All of us need some time away from screams, flashes and grabby hands” Marco nodded, understanding, getting up from the bed while stretching his arms above his head, purring a tiny sound. </p><p>Cuteness was winning the fight over horny thoughts and that, by Jean’s standards, was worrying. </p><p>Terribly so.</p><p>He got up from the bed as well, following him to the door, watching him leave the room. And the lump in his throat was ridiculous, Marco’s door was steps from his, he could reach him anytime.</p><p>But the idea of sleeping by himself in that cold room after spending so many hours with him…</p><p>“If you need anything I’ll be right here, ok? <em>Anything</em>, I’m serious”</p><p>“Ok…”</p><p>He could ask.</p><p>He could just say it, take a leap of faith, there was a chance it would work. His arm stretched, trying to reach him, and he called his name without thinking twice. Marco turned around wearing a concerned look on his face and Jean regretted it, retracting his arm, closing a fist against his chest.</p><p>“It’s nothing, it’s…” Jean put on a practiced, fake smile, eyes downcast as he took a step back, “good night”</p><p>“No, hey, what’s up?” Of course, Marco wouldn’t let that pass, shortening the distance between the two, “Jean, please… trust me”.</p><p>Jean shook his head, shameful tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, <em>you’re so damned weak, how would he ever be interested in someone like you beyond the physical? Stop being delusional.</em></p><p> “It’s nothing, really”</p><p>“Why are you lying to me?” Marco’s hurt and small voice closed Jean's eyes, fear overtaking him since the truth would bring to light the broken, needy side of himself.</p><p>
  <em>Worthless, disgusting, fake, you are fake and a failure.</em>
</p><p>“I can’t sleep in there” He finally admitted, clicking his tongue in barely a whisper, “I know I’m being pathetic but I just can’t, and I don’t want to impose, you’ve already put up with enough of my bullshit today, so, forget it, I’ll be fine”</p><p>Marco fell silent, watching, judging.</p><p>A warm hand wrapped around Jean’s, getting them both into the bodyguard's room, “I’m gonna take a shower, you get comfortable, ok?” A squeeze to his shoulder left him longing for more.</p><p>He nodded, watching Marco grab some clothes, serious eyebrows over thoughtful eyes, getting into the ensuite bathroom in almost a hurry. </p><p>Insecurity got the best of Jean as he dimmed the lights, burying himself under blankets and closing his eyes, telling himself it would be alright even if it felt like taking advantage of Marco. </p><p>
  <em>Maybe he pities me, maybe it's all because he sees how pathetic I really am, far from that cool singer I pretend to be every fucking day of my life.</em>
</p><p>Jean's tired mind gave him no rest, but physical exhaustion from months on the road took over him, lulled to sleep by the sound of water against tiles.</p><p>He drifted off, the dip on the mattress half awakening him, clean smells filling his nose, warmth coming closer. And he would go back to sleep if it wasn’t for Marco’s hushed tone, minty breath tickling his nose.</p><p>“Jean, you awake? No, no, don’t answer, I… I need to say something and it’s easier if you, uhm, if you are asleep, or at least make me think you are, please” </p><p>He stayed still, pretending to be asleep even when his heart threatened to blow his chest apart. Hopes got high despite his wishes since this all seemed too much like a confession and <em>ohmyfuckingod</em></p><p>"I hate you're this hurt. I wish I were someone else, I wish I could take your pain away, to be… I don't know, older? Not a 21-year-old who knows nothing about anything. I wish I could be that one person for you. I… I want to—" </p><p>Smooth fingertips curled a lock of hair behind his ear, knuckles brushing his cheek faintly, soft breath over his lips.</p><p>"I wish you could trust me" Jean's heart fluttered, the wetness in his voice alarming, "I'm sorry I'm not enough"</p><p>A kiss.</p><p>On his cheek.</p><p>"You are" Marco froze in place but Jean nuzzled his cheek, long fingers dipping in soft black hair, "You are, Marco, more than"</p><p>A kiss.</p><p>On his lips.</p><p>Marco turned his head enough to press his mouth against Jean's, a tickling sensation crawled from his chest to his throat, dragging a soft content sound from the blond, a whine from Marco.</p><p>Kisses weren't supposed to feel like this. </p><p>Kisses were hot. Kisses were fun. But this one was taking Jean's soul apart in the best way. It wasn't heated but a simple press of lips, simple tender brushes between deep breathing, and loud heartbeats.</p><p>He got lost in the softness of it, in Marco's arms curling around his waist, pulling him closer until their chests pressed flat against each other. Warmth engulfed him, tides of affection dismounting him in such a simple gesture.</p><p>Overwhelming.</p><p>"Jean?" Marco broke the kiss, huge worried eyes scanning his face, a thumb wiping a tear from his cheek.</p><p>"Do I deserve this? After everything I put you through?" He stared into those eyes, those pretty, kind eyes, "I hurt you, so much. Am I really worth it?"</p><p>"Of course you are. You are an amazing person and I've always wanted to make you happy, please, Jean, let me"</p><p>"Ok," he gave up, sinking between Marco's arms holding him tight, kissing his hair, cradling him until his fears disappeared. Until he felt so at peace, sleep took him hostage.</p><p>It was heaven on Earth.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p><br/>A loud sound interrupted the best sleep he had in ages, hence the grunting and pulling from blankets, hiding from the source of distress.</p><p>"Ye, yeah? Hello?" Marco's voice, as sleepy as he felt. A sudden jolt by his side followed by a gasp annoyed him immensely, "I'm so sorry we're, I'll call him, he must be asleep, oh my, sorry, sorry, sir, yes, in a moment"</p><p>His world was shaking so he grunted with a bit more purpose "WhaaaaAAAT?"</p><p>"Jean, get up, we are super late, they are all waiting in the lobby" that made him open his eyes, suddenly awake.</p><p>"Oh, shit"</p><p>He kicked the blankets away and stormed out of the room still half asleep, and once in front of his door, he blinked, confused. It was closed. His key card was inside. <em>Marco has one, go back you fucking moron and wake up! </em></p><p>"Marco" he stumbled over nothing, cursing and rapping on his door, "can't get into my room I need your kee—oh"</p><p>Shirtless. Pantless. Just a pair of blue, tight boxers stretching around strong thighs the size of his waist. And fuck, the print of something thick stood out, trapped inside, mouth-watering. He raised his eyes over the span of naked skin, dark bed hair a total mess, and<em> ohmygod</em> <em>so many freckles… </em></p><p>"Marco" he huffed, stretching a hand until his fingers grazed warm skin, strong muscles giving at his touch from abs to chest, "I don't care about Levi, or the band, could you, <em>please, </em>fuck me?"</p><p>His back hit the wall, Marco's hands on his face, forehead against his and a low growl rumbling in the brunet chest, cock waking up faster than him "I don't wanna lose my job and you don't want to be scolded, go back to your room, get dressed, and we'll talk about this later"</p><p>"I hope so" Marco pulled back, dangerous, dark eyes marking him and a key card pressed against his hand.</p><p>He left the room reluctantly, pulling down from the hard-on while walking, cursing a bit more. He threw some clothes on, grabbed the scarce objects laying around, double-checked, and left just in time to find Marco doing the same.</p><p>They half-ran to the elevator and once inside, breathing and sighing, they exchanged a look and a smile, "your hair is a total mess, did you even look at the mirror?" Marco asked, trying to fix the disaster his tangled hair was.</p><p>"No, and lucky me I have sunglasses" Jean licked his lips, tilting his head, "Marco, I'm gonna touch you"</p><p>"O...k? AH! JEAN!" Marco grabbed Jean's wrist as soon as he cupped the man's crotch, feeling the bulge.</p><p>"Are you hard or are you a shower?" Jean smirked at his blush and the shock on his face, "cause I'm a grower and this is impressive"</p><p>"I'm not hard but keep that going and I might!! I can tell you are feeling better, <em>fucking hell"</em></p><p>“Watch your profanity!”</p><p>Jean was still laughing when he got out of the elevator, immune to Levi's scold when that feeling in his chest did nothing but grow. </p><p>“I’m happy you’re fucking each other but I don’t wanna be trapped in an airport waiting for the next flight” Eren shoved him inside the taxi, clicking his tongue.</p><p>“We are not, and we’re just in time, shut up”</p><p>“Geeez, Jean, brush your teeth, here” Sasha offered him a mint gum and Marco turned in his seat.</p><p>“Can I have one?”</p><p>“Sure” Sasha handed him the package, “We’re so happy the family is growing” Marco raised his wide eyes from the candy, taking it and turning in his seat without adding anything else.</p><p>“His silence is our evidence” Connie giggled.</p><p>Definitely, he was feeling better.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><hr/><p><br/>Last concert: check</p><p>Last meet and greet: check</p><p>Last fan assault by the hotel door: In process.</p><p>They couldn't be more than 25 but there they were, about to explode when the band approached them. "How the hell did you know we were staying here?" Connie hugged the bravest ones who came closer first.</p><p>"We didn't, we got lucky! Hi Sasha!" A girl almost jumped into the drummer's arms.</p><p>There were always favorites and there were many ways to show their appreciation. Some of them would stare with stars in their eyes from a distance, others would invade their personal space; bodyguards were there for a reason.</p><p>Eren had already found the ones dying to meet him when a choir of increasing giggles told Jean this was his bunch, "Hi, hi Jean" Marco was following suit, waiting but observant.</p><p>"Come here y'all" He stretched his arms and the girls, and one boy promptly threw themselves in between.</p><p>Connie was taking pictures and videos, Sasha was already eating while signing stuff between loud peals of laughter, Eren had a soft conversation and a fan handed Jean something.</p><p>"I don't know how you feel about fanart but…" they were a couple of illustrations: him singing on the stage, and the band being silly around each other.</p><p>"I love this!" He really did and he took out his phone, "gimme your Twitter handle so I can tag you properly" They always fangirled so much at those words, especially when he added them. And then he saw a familiar link in her bio, grinning when looking up into the fan's eyes. "Fics too, don't you?" The girl blushed so bright he almost felt bad, nodding, "Tell me your ships, I won't be offended"</p><p>"Oh, I uh… I multiship but, mainly? Connie and Sasha, and you two…"</p><p>Jean turned his head, raising his voice, "Hey! Erejean shipper over here!" Eren raised his eyebrows, throwing a kiss at him just for the sake of watching those girls whimpering and hitting each other, "wanna know some canon stuff for your writings?"</p><p>She did, they always did. She took out her phone to write down some <em>vital information</em> that actually was the banalest things: favorites of everything, sexual orientation, an anecdote or two.</p><p>“Are you in a relationship?” The guy asked, getting into private territory.</p><p>“Lucky for you, I don’t mind about those questions but they might rub off in the wrong way to certain people, so watch out. And no, sadly I’m not” He leaned over them whispering, “yet"</p><p>"So that’s why you aren’t kissing your fans anymore!" The writer said, lost in thought, looking over Jean’s shoulder.</p><p>"Not exactly, but I see where you're going and...” He shrugged, the group hitting each other while assuming correctly.</p><p>“Can I take a picture of you both?” The guy asked. Jean signaled Marco to come closer and the group exchanged nervous whispers.</p><p>“Is everything alright?” Jean nodded, pulling from a black loose strand of hair starting to fall forwards so it framed his face.</p><p>“There, better. They want a picture and since they’re going to take it anyway, let’s indulge them, ok?” Marco seemed to hesitate at first, but he stood by his side, all stiff, “Man, chill, it’s just a picture”</p><p>“Easy for you, I’m not used to this”</p><p>“Ehm… I took a lot already, it’s better when you two are just talking” The bunch looked into her phone, gasping, whispering, and giggling.</p><p>
  <em>“They are so obvious”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh my look at Jean”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But Marco is staring at his lips”</em>
</p><p>“So” Jean got their attention back, some blushes showing in their faces, “thanks for coming tonight, really, we wouldn’t do this without your support”</p><p>“Wait, before you leave!” The guy bit his lip. Nothing good would come from him and he was ready to say no, “Some fanservice? A tiny kiss?”</p><p>“Told you I can’t kiss fans anymore…” He felt bad for rejecting him but the guy laughed, shaking his head.</p><p>“No, I mean you and Marco”</p><p>He heard Eren's <em>wow</em> and Sasha snorting at their back. It seemed everyone was paying attention to their interaction. Jean raised his eyebrows, smiling softly. Marco took a sharp intake of breath, staring at Jean, visibly scared, “I can’t, I’m working, too public, I—”</p><p>“Come on, just a peck, it will hurt no one” Jean made him turn, facing sideways to the fans.</p><p>“I’m gonna get in trouble and I’ll drag you with me, Jean…”</p><p>“A tiny thing, come on” He twisted Marco’s tie between his fingers, pulling softly, “I know you want it” He murmured, “and I definitely do”</p><p>“God, this is so…” As soon as his eyes fell to Jean’s mouth, he knew Marco would oblige.</p><p>“Yeah, baby, give it to me”</p><p>It wasn’t just a peck, Marco lost it immediately after hearing the pet name, pulling from Jean’s hair, licking shamefully inside his mouth. He couldn’t help the soft moan as fans couldn’t help their squeals.</p><p>And the rest of the band joined them, Connie took pictures, Sasha incited a general ovation, and Eren laughed a bit too amused: <em>“fucking finally”</em>. But Jean? Jean was lost in Marco’s taste, in the warmth of his tongue and the strength of his arms.</p><p>The kiss lasted barely seconds, enough to arouse him immensely, those months of abstinence manifesting at once. They hadn't touched each other since they left the previous hotel and the need was ridiculous. Marco broke the kiss, shaking his head, muttering “what am I gonna do with you?”</p><p>“Whatever you want” Jean whispered over his lips, staring into dark eyes.</p><p>“Ok, we’re leaving”</p><p>Marco hoisted him over his shoulder so fast he didn’t have time to even yelp, laughing and waving his hand at the fans still taking pictures and the rest of the band. He didn’t let him go in the elevator, smacking his ass once, shutting Jean up efficiently, and making him twitch in his pants.</p><p>“I felt that” Marco squeezed his thigh, nuzzling the skin under his rolled-up shirt right by the hip bone.</p><p>“Yeah?” Jean squeezed Marco’s ass from above, “I like it rough”</p><p>“I fucking knew it”</p><p>Strong steps took them into Jean’s room and just after the door closed and his feet touched the ground, Jean’s back hit the wall. But now, contrary to what happened that morning, Marco pressed their chests together, kisses so deep, wet and wild they made Jean dizzy.</p><p>“Fuck, the tongue piercing is, <em>fuck, Jean”</em> Marco heaved, lifting Jean who promptly crossed his ankles at his back, letting the illustrations fall from his hands to grab Marco's hair, "I want you so much"</p><p>"Just to let you know, I'm gonna cum real soon, <em>shit"</em> Once he unbuttoned his black shirt, exposing freckled skin, he couldn't stop, "I've wanted you to fuck me since the first day I saw you"</p><p>"Jean" he grunted between gritted teeth, grinding against him, a strong grip to his jaw and ass, "you sure you want that?"</p><p>"Yeah, people,<em> fuck, keepdoingthat,</em> people always want me to top them but, <em>oh my fucking God, Marco</em>" he needed more, he needed to see and touch.</p><p>So he went for it, taking Marco's cock out right after his own jumper was tossed aside, licking the palm of his hand to pull from it softly. It was thick, hardening incredibly fast in Jean's grip. Marco's stiff length throbbed in his hand, a long needy moan coming from his shiny lips while a strong hand pulled from blond locks.</p><p>"You're gonna make me cum" Marco's cheeks flushed bright red, eyes hazy with lust, "I, I've been jerking off to this since I was 14, thinking about you"</p><p>"I hope I live up to expectations" he caught Marco's bottom lip between his teeth, licking the upper slowly afterward, his free hand roaming over freckled, hard muscles.</p><p>"You are, you, hnng, oh shit" </p><p>Jean looked down, stroking more intently, twisting his fist until Marco's legs trembled, pulling from his nipple, moans high and short, spurts of cum staining Jean's chest and belly.</p><p>"There you go, baby, yeah" Jean pressed his other hand to Marco’s blushing cheek, receiving an open-mouthed kiss on his wrist, “you look so pretty when you cum”</p><p>He cracked his eyes open, still moaning, abs tensing in every discharge, "Jean, oh, Jean" Marco covered his neck in wet, burning kisses, waking his skin in shivers and goosebumps, "I wanna, ah"</p><p>"Tell me, I'll give it to you"</p><p>"Please, cum over my face" </p><p>"Shiiiiit… Marco, <em>yes"</em></p><p>The brunet let him stand, kneeling at his feet, fast breathing coming in puffs from the recent climax ticking his belly, his now exposed cock. Marco kissed the little wings tattooed on his hip and Jean dug his fingers on Marco’s shoulder, anticipation buzzing from belly to chest.</p><p>He took his time to look at it, hands taking its weight, feeling it, "It was hard to see the shape in those leaks, but I tried so hard to visualize its shape and length, the color, the taste" Marco raised his dark eyes, so beautiful and so his, "it's exactly how I pictured it to be"</p><p>He curled his tongue around the exposed, soft, pink glans, measured kisses and touches around and below, sucking here and there, humming happily when a single drop of pre came from the tip. Jean’s fingers curled against the wall, trying to get it together, failing.</p><p>"You're perfect" Jean fondled his hair and Marco melted on the spot, looking up into his eyes, cheek squished against Jean's thigh and lips kissing his length, "so pretty, Marco"</p><p>It caught Jean off guard when his bodyguard took him in one go, swallowing more than half of it, gagging and so eager.</p><p>"Baby, you don't have to deep throat me" he pulled from dark hair, terribly aroused with the visual of those plush lips around his wet cock, head bobbing and getting him dangerously close, "it's hot but you can give me more pleaaaahh holly shit…"</p><p>He felt the back of his throat closing around him, and by the time Marco pulled back gasping for air, thick strands of spit joined his lips to his shiny cock, blushing and slightly teary.</p><p>"Jean…" he did that to his voice, raspy and deep, so hot he could cum right there, untouched. And his cock throbbed hard, some pre dripping from the tip, promptly sucked by Marco's lips.</p><p>It just took a couple of brushes of his flattened tongue over the underside of his shaft to make him burst, Marco’s tiny, happy sounds and those warm hands all over him speeding up his climax. And he opened his mouth, getting the load over his tongue, cheeks, nose, and chin, licking the mess happily, sucking him clean.</p><p>“Good?” His hands caressed him from thighs to hip bones, thumbs brushing the skin there.</p><p>Jean nodded, smirking, “Such a good boy” Marco swallowed, standing slowly, eyes never leaving his, “go clean yourself and come back to me, I’ll be waiting” Jean gave him a soft peck on the lips, pushing him towards the bathroom.</p><p>He sighed and did what was told while the blond snatched lube from his suitcase, laying on the bed completely naked, legs spread wide. It was equally arousing and charming to see how much every word, look, and smile affected Marco, and even when he could —and would— absolutely destroy Jean, his puppy eyes made Jean's heart flutter.</p><p>Marco's steps faltered watching Jean’s fingers brushing his entrance slowly, “Undress but keep the shirt, and roll up those sleeves” </p><p>Marco’s thick thighs tensed when he sat on them, enough space for him to sit comfortably. He could see his toned abs under the opened black shirt, strong arms and hands closing in fists, restrained.</p><p>“Touch yourself, slowly, get yourself hard” Jean pushed a finger inside, unhurried. He didn’t need to do that to get fucked, never did, <em>but when did I refuse the opportunity to give a good show? </em></p><p>He threw the lube and Marco groped for it, eyes locked where Jean’s finger sank over and over again “I want you” he murmured, licking his lips, mouth half-open, “I want you so much”</p><p>“And you’ll have me, Marco” He pushed a second finger inside, holding his balls up for Marco to see, “Would you stretch me with that huge cock? Slowly? Are you gonna make me scream, Marco?”</p><p>Marco nodded and Jean lost the rhythm for a second, too focused on how hard he was already, the thin skin rubbing over his glistening glans from lube and pre, over and over, so mouthwatering. He pressed one more finger inside, a squelching sound dragging a whimper out of Marco.</p><p>“I’m so ready for you, so wet and open” Jean arched his back, a lecherous moan echoing in the dimly lighted room, “Are you gonna fill me with your cum?”</p><p>Marco scooted closer, palms flat on his knees, traveling down Jean’s inner thighs, thumbs stroking the patch of skin between his legs and groin, “Can I?” His hushed voice fooled no one, Jean’s tease landed exactly the way he expected and Marco was about to burst.</p><p>“Hmmmmm” Jean moved his hands out of the way, signaling Marco to come even closer, placing a pillow under his lower back, “ruin me, baby”</p><p>He didn’t fuck him straight away, Marco stared between them, a wanton need in his parted lips and arched eyebrows. He took himself in hand, rubbing his full cock against Jean’s a couple of times, just because he could.</p><p>It sent a delicious sensation all over his crotch, eagerness making him shift under Marco’s dark gaze. The brunet pinned him down, hands clutching at his slim hips, rubbing his length over Jean’s hole. </p><p>“Ah, fuck” Jean gasped when the blunt head caught against his lubed entrance, fists closing on the sheets, attention set on what he could see of that thick cock, steadily diving inside him.</p><p>“So tight, so tight, oh so tight” Marco was hardly breathing, almost drooling at the sight of himself wrapped around Jean’s heat, pulling slightly to push a bit more.</p><p>Jean raised his hips, pulling from Marco with his legs without warning, pelvis crashing against ass, “Oh! God! You’re huge” He blinked tears back, whiffing, holding Marco’s shoulders now leaning over him.</p><p>“Don’t rush it!” He panted over his cheek, kissing it, his jaw, “don’t wanna hurt you”</p><p>“You’re not, it’s just, a lot” He snickered, latching their mouths together in a burning, uncoordinated kiss, perfect nonetheless. Marco held his weight on an arm over Jean’s head, the other hand still clutching his hip so hard it could leave bruises. </p><p>Jean threw his arms over Marco’s shoulders, playing with messy black hair, breaking the kiss to breathe, “Can I move?” Marco breathed in his mouth and Jean nodded, bracing himself on the wide freckled frame of his lover.</p><p>The drag was almost too much, it touched every nerve, filthy wet sounds in addition to Marco’s unintelligible mumble under his breath. Jean pulled from his hair when teeth nibbled the soft skin of his exposed neck, harsh sucking marking him, wet licks, kisses.</p><p>“More, more, Marco, give it to me” </p><p>Marco paced himself straightening his back, holding his waist firmly, rough but unhurried thrusts, fucking little noises out of Jean. And he looked so powerful, so terribly hot over him, muscles tensing and deep moans loud in the room.</p><p>Then he changed the angle to hit his sweet spot, over, and over, and over again and Jean felt pleasure zipping through his nerves, his balls tightening, cock at its fullest, “Marco, Marco, don’t stop, I’mgonnacum, Marco”</p><p>His hurried pleas got Marco fisting Jean’s wet cock, banging his hips fast and hard, the blond’s eyes rolling back his skull, inhaling in silence until thick ropes of cum painted his chest in white, tension snapping. His voice finally broke into a loud trembling moan, nails digging on Marco’s arms. </p><p>And after tasting the cum covering his hand, his lover reached his limit as well, cursing and holding Jean tight against his chest, almost screaming on his neck, hips stuttering from the force of his climax, pressing against him until his whole body went lax, crushing him.</p><p>And <em>oh</em> how much did Jean like that weight over him, cock slipping out from his body, sweat mixing and breathing settling down. They stayed like that for minutes, who knows how long, holding each other, sharing warmth and heartbeats. </p><p>So intimate.</p><p>So good. </p><p>
  <em>Too good. </em>
</p><p>“Don’t leave” Jean whispered, lips brushing his ear, “don’t leave me”</p><p>The realization hit him hard, feelings raw and soul exposed after such a devastating orgasm, vulnerable as he always was around Marco but ten times stronger. <em>And how sad would it be if I cried right after getting fucked?</em></p><p>Marco held himself on his elbows, concerned eyes scanning Jean’s expression, “Wha- Jean?”</p><p>He hid his face behind his hand, faking a wobbly smile, voice betraying him, “I’m fine, don’t…”</p><p>“Don’t what? Jean, did I hurt you?” The wet cackle that followed was an honest one.</p><p>“No, Marco, you didn’t. I’m just this pathetic, that’s all” He sniffled snots, wiping tears away, trying to hide on Marco’s chest.</p><p>“Then what’s going on? Why did you—”</p><p>“When I take someone to bed I make them leave immediately. But you cuddled, you held me, and this is not fair ‘cause you’re gonna leave and I know what’s this, I know that it was a fanboy dream and that’s it, and hey, I’m ok with it b—”</p><p>“Jean, you are rambling, and so wrong” Marco tried to lift his head, but Jean refused, “please, look at me, hey”</p><p>“I don’t wanna hear empty promises Marco, don’t say anything you’d regret”</p><p>“Jean, I love you” </p><p>His eyebrows raised at the words, heart skipping a beat, hope burning low in his chest even when he tried to push it at the back of his heart. He dared a glimpse to those chocolate eyes, to soft bitten lips curling into a sweet smile.</p><p>“I am a fanboy, I fulfilled a dream, yes” He admitted, cupping his cheek with one of those huge hands of his, “but then I met you, the real you. You opened up to me and now I love you, I’m in love with you”</p><p>Nothing scared him as those words did, nothing shook his world the same way. And Jean didn’t know how to cope, how to manage the revolution inside his mind and heart “Please don’t lie to me” </p><p>“I am not. I promise. And I’ll stay if you'd have me” </p><p>Jean closed his eyes, fingers curling around Marco’s wrists, nodding, “Please, stay, I” He took a deep breath, hating how cheesy this turned out, “I fucking love you too, and this sappy conversation after the best fuck I've had in forever is bullshit”</p><p>Marco laughed happily, kissing his hair and holding him tight, scaring his fears away.</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p><br/>“Oh, shit” Jean giggled, showing Marco his phone in bed, both clean and ready to sleep.</p><p>“But how? She’s two rooms away?” His giggles turned into laughter watching Marco’s cheek going bright red.</p><p>“You were so fucking loud, babe” </p><p>Marco stared at him, sighing, “I love when you call me that, don’t ever stop”</p><p>“Heh, I know you do, I saw it in your face” Somehow, Marco managed to look smaller even when it was Jean who laid over his wide chest, but those puppy eyes, fuck, how cute can he get?</p><p>“And… have you thought if you want to say anything to them? To everyone? Or should we keep it for ourselves?”</p><p>Jean frowned, placing his phone on the nightstand, hands over Marco’s chest and chin propped on the back, “By ‘it’ you mean, us?” Marco nodded, hands stroking Jean’s arm, curling a lock of blond hair behind his ear as he usually did, “I don’t wanna hide, if that’s what you mean. It’s not anyone’s business anyway”</p><p>“Except it is since you are a rock star”</p><p>Jean wrinkled his nose at the title, “I’m not, I’m just a slightly popular indie singer in a slightly popular indie band, shut up”</p><p>“Slightly my ass” Marco chuckled, “You are not tiny, you are known, and I don’t want us being a thing to turn into an issue”</p><p>“Hey, it won’t be” Jean hid a yawn against his hands, “You won’t be, stop thinking that hard and let’s go to sleep”</p><p>Marco nodded, turning off the light, adjusting his chest and legs to Jean’s back, curling around him, squeezing his waist and kissing his nape, “you better get used to this”</p><p>“I already am” Jean took his hand, kissing the back and closing his eyes.</p><p>When he started this tour with the band he expected new experiences, maybe something spectacular to remember, a new anecdote or two. But he would have never imagined this ending, that the missing piece filling his somewhat empty heart was a regular fan, now turned bodyguard, and the love of his life.</p><p>Maybe it was too soon to think in those terms, it probably was, but Marco was his first, he hoped the last. His life would be the same, with the only difference that he’d stay by his side as protection, as support, as one of his best friends.</p><p>And he hoped he would never let go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading<br/>I ADORE YOU SO MUCH ♥ ♥ ♥</p><p>If you have a minute or less, leave a comment below, you'll make me the happiest woman alive ^^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a good thing they rented the place. </p><p>It was a good thing it was away from everything and everyone because Marco didn’t know how to be quiet even if his life depended on it. </p><p>He couldn’t blame his boyfriend anyway, being balls deep in him made things hard for himself as well.</p><p>
  <em>Super hard.</em>
</p><p>Marco rolled his hips in a sweet pace, slow, enjoying himself, cock spilling little amounts of pre over Jean’s belly, hands roaming over his pecs, neck, stomach, twisting his nipples. He scanned every single freckle, every single shift of his muscles, squeezing those dream thighs framing Jean’s hips.</p><p>But they’ve been like that for almost 5 minutes and Jean was losing his shit, the friction too much but not enough.</p><p>“You’re killing me here, faster, babe” Marco locked eyes with him, licking his lips.</p><p>“Hmmm, I thought you didn’t like to top?” He breathed, tiny gasps leaving his lips now and then when his ass crashed a bit harder against him.</p><p>“I am not, this is not topping, you are fucking me even if my cock is up your ass”</p><p>Marco smirked all smug and proud, the little shit, “You wanna top? Ok,” He loomed over him, dangerous whispers brushing his lips in a low voice, “then top and stop acting like the bratty bottom you are”.</p><p>“Fucker” Jean grabbed him by his hair and asscheek, placing his feet firmly on the deck chair.</p><p>Without warning and fueled by those teasing words, Jean pistoned his hips harsh and fast, fucking into him with intent, smirking at his loud whimpers and moans, Marco’s body tensing over him.</p><p>“You gonna cum? That fast?” He panted in his ear knowing damned well that dirty talk was it for his boyfriend, “yeah, baby, cum untouched, let me see you”</p><p>Marco straightened his back, lacing his fingers with Jeans, body tensing, head lolled back, high short moans in time with his release, spurting all over Jean, clenching around him. He moaned Jean’s name four times in a row, becoming sensitive for sure, but taking it anyway until he finished.</p><p>And he did, hard, deep inside Marco, hips finally getting to a halt when the climax overwhelmed him, dragging long groans from his chest, sighing when finishing, “Fuck, good morning”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah” Marco leaned on Jean’s legs, laborious breathing raising his chest, a hand over it, “You still need the sunscreen”</p><p>“You brought lube but not sunscreen? It’s in the same cabinet, Marco” He chuckled.</p><p>“Priorities” Marco smiled, opening his eyes, leaning over him to press their lips together in a kiss, nuzzling his nose, “Let me clean you up, take a shower and I’ll bring the sunscreen and some drinks, ok?”</p><p>“Hmmm, a coke for me” He nodded, grabbing a towel to clean the mess, “disgusting, move, gonna clean myself with the hose”</p><p>Marco stood, giggling, making a face when cum dripped out his hole, down his legs, giving a little yelp while running inside the house. Jean laughed at him, cleaning himself and laying face down on the deck chair.</p><p>He had several messages from his mother asking if he was ok, some videos from Sasha and Connie, the latter stayed the holidays at Sasha’s, and texts from Eren with some links to ridiculous videos, probably sent by Armin.</p><p>Jean opened his social media, thinking that it has been long since he last talked to his fans.</p><p>“Heeeeeeeeeeeey guys!! How are you doing?” He held his phone in one hand, the other under his chin, eyes squinted from the bright sun burning his naked back, “I’m here, chillin’ after an exhausting tour! Thanks, by the way, and sorry I didn’t contact you before, but I needed some alone time”</p><p>He took some seconds to read the comments appearing at speed light on his Instagram live stream, smirked at some of them and a horde of hearts burst on the corner of the screen, “You wanna know where I am? At a swimming pool, in Jinae, to be specific.”</p><p>He kept reading and everybody asked for the same thing. </p><p>“Marco? In the shower. Oh, you wanna hear something amazing? Maybe I can, if we are lucky… wait”</p><p>He got up, running on his tiptoes to the bathroom, music reaching him all the way from there. <em><a href="https://youtu.be/sd1cI5Lqv8E">Adam Lambert</a>, the fucker</em>. Jean stood outside the bathroom, Marco’s voice loud over the music and he cracked the door open.</p><p>“You hear that?” He whispered staring at the phone facing him, “That’s Marco singing, and oh, wait, that’s the best part. Try not to shit yourselves ‘cause I almost did the first time”</p><p>
  <em>“Wish I could just find a way to have all your memories erased, ‘cause constantly they're haunting me. But it's not that easy for me to say goodbye, and everything in me wants you back in my life. Can't let you go, can’t let you go”</em>
</p><p>He nailed every single one of the high notes and it pissed him to the moon and back that he didn’t want to go professional. Jean had the money, had the contacts, and Marco still said it was too soon for him, that he should take some classes before.</p><p>And he respected that but he was a natural, he didn’t need any preparation. Marco made him feel so much with his voice it was crazy and the whole band, Levi and Erwin agreed. But as long as he didn’t want to, there was nothing he could do.</p><p>Or maybe there was.</p><p>“Would you make a hashtag to convince him to sing with me? It’d be amazing, right?”</p><p>Marco closed the tap and Jean ran outside the house, giggling, reading the general hype of his fans and their agreement. It warmed his heart to see their support, he would never thank them enough.</p><p>Shortly after, he heard Marco’s steps coming from the house and he made a shushing gesture with his finger, laying down as before and lifting the camera over his shoulder to get him in the frame. </p><p>He appeared in nothing but his black swim trunks, brown eyes checking his ass out, a smile cracking on those pretty lips.</p><p>“Sorry, the shower took longer than expected and the sunscreen was hiding from me” He left it on the floor, by Jean’s side, laying on top of him, handgrip tight on his waist, kissing behind his ear, wet hair dripping down Jean’s back “did you miss me?”</p><p>“Yeah, and so did they” Jean cackled, watching Marco’s gasp on his phone screen, hiding behind Jean’s back.</p><p>“WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME ALL THE TIME?!”</p><p>The messages were either keysmashs, screams, laughing, or pervy faces. It wasn’t a secret that they were a thing, not after that public kiss months ago, anyway. And his fans loved the idea. Of course, some of them were pissed and hated the idea, but their support was mostly overwhelming.</p><p>“Well, bye, my loves! We’ll talk again soon. Babe, say goodbye” Marco pouted over his shoulder, staring at the chat, a smile pulling from his lip when he saw the comments.</p><p>“Bye y’all” </p><p>He cut the stream and left the phone on the floor, turning slightly on the deck chair, “you’re so cute”</p><p>“Hmmm” Marco kissed him, slapping his ass, “You did it to me again”</p><p>“Oh no, you gonna punish me?” Marco snorted, shaking his head,</p><p>“I might!! But later, my balls are dry after today and yesterday night”</p><p>They kissed again. And again. And once more.</p><p>They were at this point in the relationship when the need for touch was almost unbearable, and Jean wouldn’t change it for anything. The rush of adrenaline in Marco’s arms was only akin to that on the stage.</p><p>But now he sang his love for a single person, not for an audience, and it made the experience even more exciting. He usually pictured them singing together on a stage, their own songs, covers, it didn’t matter. But the sole idea of doing what he loved most with his favorite person, made the future exciting.</p><p>For now, the only duets they performed were in bed, and those whispered love confessions they sang along made his days a bit brighter, easier to carry. </p><p>After all, he lived for his fans, and Marco was, without a doubt, the number one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This author invites and appreciates responses, including:</p><p>· Short comments<br/>· Long comments<br/>· Questions<br/>· “&lt;3” as extra kudos<br/>· Reader-reader interaction<br/>· This author replies to comments.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/tifa_sugar">· Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://tifasugar.tumblr.com/">· Tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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